As I was writing up a review and giveaway for “Once Upon a Time: An Adoption Story” I had all these familiar feelings come rushing back and thought it might be nice to share my story of adoption! Please note this topic is very personal to me so while I would love comments, please keep them positive and kind!!
When I was 19 I got pregnant. The father of the child wasn’t supportive of me and didn’t stick around for the pregnancy. I remember feeling so alone all the time! I knew in my heart that this child had a family out there that he belonged to buy all my friends and even my family weren’t supportive towards adoption.
My dad and even my grandparents wanted to raise the child as it was their bloodline and didn’t want their grandchild off in the world where they would never know them. Adoption was a scary thing for me to face as I knew the world pushed such a negative opinion on it of abandonment and selfishness for giving up my child. Nothing could push past the feelings in my heart though that I wasn’t making this decision for MY sake but for my unborn child’s sake.
What was best for him and where did he belong? I met a family who I fell in love with! I actually would visit with them and see them often as they were the family of my dear roommate. When I finally made the decision that they were the family I felt so much peace and comfort and new that was the right thing! That didn’t really make what was to come any easier though.
As my due date approached I went ahead and scheduled an induction for a few days before my due date so my parents could plan to come up to be with me and support me. The birth was easy and I only felt one contraction and then got the epidural. He was born quickly and I spent most of the first 2 days beaming and enjoying my time with him as “my” son.
As my checkout time edged closer it started to get very difficult and emotional for me. At one point I had everyone just leave us be for a while and just spent some time just the two of us. When we finally left the hospital they wheeled us out to the car and we all walked in silence to the cars. The adoptive family was there with us and we headed to their car.
Handing over my baby was such a difficult thing to do. Everyone there was balling and I’m glad I’ll never have to repeat that moment! It was so strange that such a time could be a moment of heartbreak for me and such a moment of joy for this new family. I know it was very hard for the adoptive mother as well to see me hurting so badly.
I had my good days and my bad days over the first few months and his first year but over time my heart has healed and I know without a doubt he is where he belongs. There are still days and moments when I think of him and miss him but never as “my” son but just for that little boy I held and loved for those two days in the hospital.
I am very fortunate to have an open adoption where I still am in close contact with the adoptive family. I see them every so often when I’m in town and exchange pictures, emails, and phone calls on occasion as well. Receiving pictures those first few months was extremely healing for me to see that yes, he is fine, he is where he belongs! He is 6 years old now and going to school! Wow how time files!!
Thursday 22nd of July 2010
i am at a complete loss to understand how you managed to live thru this. i was fighting tears towards the end of ur story. i am a mum of a one yr old who is just learning to talk now....i will just die ... i couldnt survive if he were taken away from me or i would never be able to give him up....god how did u manage!niti
Wednesday 19th of May 2010
Wow, that is beautiful and you are a very strong woman for sharing your story. Like you I became pregnant at a young age too, I had just graduated high-school when I found out I was pregnant. I thought about giving my little girl up for adoption, but when I mentioned it to my parents they wanted to keep the baby in the family and suggested that I let my older brother who was already married and settled down to adopt her. As soon as I heard that I changed my mind. My daughter's biological father is out of the picture now but I believe I did the right thing for her by raising her myself. She is thirteen now and my husband adopted her. He is the only father that she has ever known but I am so blessed to have her in my life. God works in mysterious ways. He wanted us to have our children when we were young. It was all a part of His plan. Thanks for sharing your touching story!
Sunday 16th of May 2010
That was beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing. Both my husband and one of my best friends are adopted. It is a wonderful and selfless act.
Saturday 15th of May 2010
Seriously so sweet. I love that you are so open about it. It's so important, I love adoption!
Saturday 15th of May 2010
I am in tears, what a wonderful story. God bless you!