I’m a Sisterhood of Motherhood sponsored blog partner, but all opinions are my own. Please see below for additional disclosure.
American culture has bred us to compare, compete, envy, and judge each other as parents. We hold an image of an ideal perfect parent in our mind’s eye and anything that doesn’t match our perfectly painted picture or that seems different to us feels like a threat to our parenting philosophy. But we don’t need to fear, scorn, or scoff other moms and dads based on their parenting decisions. Don’t forget, we all got shoved off the cliff the moment our babies arrived and we’ve been struggling to stay afloat ever since learning how to parent our children all over again at each new stage.
With judging so prevalent in our society, you may be casting stones (or sideways glances) without even realizing it. How many of these judgement scenarios can you relate to? No matter which side of the coin you agree with, you can probably relate to either thinking or hearing these and similar judgement statements before.
1. I can’t believe she came to the grocery store in her pajamas.
2. Your son looks so uncomfortable in the car seat rear facing,
he’s too old for that.
3. You have just the one? When are you planning on more?
4. What do you do all day staying home? I’d be bored out of my mind!
5. Your daughter looks like a tramp in that tank top.
6. Oh, she uses formula. She must not have tried hard enough.
7. Isn’t it kind of early to put your child down for bed at 6pm?
8. You’re poisoning your child with all those vaccines you’ve given her.
9. Wow, her child is totally out of control. I would never let my child
get away with throwing a tantrum in the store.
10. Your children are so close together, did you plan that?
11. Oh, you’re daughter has a rash? You should switch to cloth diapers.
12. Wow! She still takes 3 naps? Does she really sleep that much?
13. Why aren’t you making your own baby food? It would be so
much healthier for him.
14. How do you leave your child all day to go to work?
15. I can’t believe she pierced her daughter’s ears. She’s too young.
16. Where’s his jacket? It’s 50° outside.
17. You’re STILL breastfeeding?
18. Oh, she looks like she’s 16. She must be a teen mom.
19. Wow! All boys? Are you going to keep trying for a girl?
20. You let your kids play with toy guns and swords?
21. Haven’t you heard of birth control?
22. My child goes to a private school.
23. I bet she’s not really going to hit the gym.
24. Those must be hand-me-downs, they look washed and worn down.
25. He’s clearly seeking attention. If you gave him more of your
time he wouldn’t be labeled ADHD.
26. You really shouldn’t have any more kids since you’re daughter got
such a hard genetic disease. You wouldn’t want another disabled child.
27. My daughter is in soccer, dance, girl scouts, and piano lessons.
What activities do you put your kids into?
28. You sure have your hands FULL! I could only handle one.
29. Why don’t you get a real job.
30. You’re daughter’s really tiny, are you feeding her enough?
31. If you have to be on welfare, you shouldn’t keep having children.
32. She’s so lazy, she wouldn’t even bake something for our potluck,
she just bought it from the store.
33. Aren’t you worried about the baby having Down Syndrome with your age?
34. My child was walking by 6 months.
35. Oh, I hate that name! She should have named her ____.
36. You let your boy play with barbie dolls?
37. What, you don’t make a cute homemade lunch for your child?
38. You don’t save all their school work and papers to remember them?
39. That’s why I home school my kids. Their education is just too important.
40. You haven’t taken your 6 month old to the dentist yet? What are
you waiting for?
41. Does he ever go outside to play? Or is he on those games all day?
42. You don’t spend enough time with your child.
43. I wonder when the last time she bathed her kids, they’re so dirty!
44. I can’t believe you let her wear that costume out in public!
45. You really are going to leave the play date for a scheduled nap?
46. Doesn’t your husband want to provide for your family and go to work?
47. I can’t believe your not still rear facing your child, it’s so much safer!
48. How can you stand cloth diapering, isn’t it gross?
49. You should start your kid on a diet, he looks really unhealthy.
50. Let me show you my perfect scrapbook for my perfect children.
It’s time to STOP all the judgement. If you have ever felt other moms cast a judging look your way or felt others were thinking some of these thoughts about you, then you realize how bad it can feel to be misunderstood. When judgement starts walls are thrown up and friendships don’t have the chance to form.
In fact, 9 out of 10 moms feel negatively judged by other parents for their parenting decisions, according to The National Motherhood Decisions Survey. That number is startling!
Instead, embrace the other parents around you and let’s raise each other up and remind each other what a great job we’re doing. We can all relate to those tough days with our children and the thankless hours spent worrying and providing for our families. You’re doing a great job, mom and dad!
Join Similac as they take a stand against mommy judgement with their End Mommy Wars campaign. They have a dedicated landing page where you can share your judgement story with others and help support other moms. We are all just doing the best we can and learning as we go. We all have the same goal in mind – to raise happy, healthy children.
Similac partnered with bloggers such as me for its Sisterhood of Motherhood Program. As part of this program, I received compensation for my time. Similac believes that consumers and bloggers are free to form their own opinions and share them in their own words. Similac’s policies align with WOMMA Ethics Code, Federal Trade Commission (FTC) guidelines and social media engagement recommendations.